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only_hindsight

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(no subject) [Dec. 1st, 2009|12:52 am]
only_hindsight
tonight is the last night i will write on my live journal.
I have so much to say but so little time.
We all have so little time.
There is so much we have to do for ourselves in a day we sometimes forget about the things that we have to do in order for us to be happy.

At the time of writing this entry i am currently depressed and wishing i could live this dream i've conjured up i my head of singing and paying shows, touring the country and such.
All i know right now is work work work work work.

Maybe come wednesday it will be cool. Maybe i can actually like a new manager for once.

Maybe even though i'll be loosing an hour to travel each day, i'll be gaining new and valuable experiences.


To top this all off, i'm going to stop here and buy myself a journal and a nice expensive pen.
I want to from now on physically write what i feel. Because what i feel is physical i really should ensure how i present it is physical as well, not electronic.

So tonight i will print out every single entry i have ever written in here and retire this for good.
Once i print everything out i will begin at the first entry, January 28th, 2006 and read every single one up to this one. I need to look back and learn more about myself. My life at the moment seems so dry and empty and i want to remember how i felt when i was younger, brighter and warmer in my days.

Once i finish reading every single entry i had written, i will begin a new entry. A new chapter if you will and i will begin this new era of journaling, where i know the past well and i am using it as a foundation to build my future upon. SOmetimes we forget the past for reasons of time or out of wishful departure, but its always good to remember what got us to where we are now.
So here it is. This is it. I've told it all and let it all hang out on many sets of keyboards, facing many screens typing up all that was built up inside just to have it displayed here for the world to see. Because of this journal i have learned a lot about myself and by reading everything again i know i will gain much more than anyone else could teach me.

We see it all, not in black and white, not in text and lines but in full vibrant colors, shapes, sizes and depth once we look back and see everything for what it was to everything connected to it.

And so with this ending, comes a new beginning.


Only_Hindsight.
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(no subject) [Sep. 16th, 2009|11:29 pm]
only_hindsight
i'm the new Co-Manager at Journeys! its a lot of work and the hardest part about the job is using the sales tactics, learning how to push sales and be a modest person at the same time as to not scare people off lol.


I have to do a lot of shipping stuff like scanning store transfers in and boxing up transfer outs to other stores, but its fun and i like it.


I think i get paid next week, and right wen i get paid i'm puttin it in the bank. I"m excited for this job and i hope i can get into a groove and sell well enough to keep my job, the numbers are what are important i have to keep up my standards of performance.



time to sleep, i closed tongiht and now i'm opening up 2morro, so 7am wake up atleast.
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THE 20 Rules. [Sep. 7th, 2009|11:57 pm]
only_hindsight
The Rules.
1. These are all the rules that I will follow
2. No other rule on this list is greater than rule #1
3. All events of the day will be recorded in the time and money saver’s notebook
4. Every week day is a 7:30am wake up call
5. Water will be consumed within 10 minutes of wake up, 5 full bottles min. daily
6. Breakfast will not exceed 10 minutes
7. 8am is personal healthcare time. One full hour each day must be taken
8. 9am hit the shower
9. The house must be tidy before 12pm unless work schedules conflict
10. Carbonated beverages are only allowed on the weekends
11. Lunch is at 12pm unless work hours conflict
12. Snacks are snacks, not meals
13. Contact 3 people a day and initiate conversation
14. Take one hour out of each afternoon to watch tv unless work conflicts
15. Dinner is one meal that falls between 7-10pm
16. Limit 3 hours on the computer per day
17. Take 1hr out of each day to study and rehearse guitar
18. Take 30 mins out of each evening to read a fiction novel
19. Take 1hr out of each day to study a book
20. LIGHTS OUT (room and computer) at 1am NO EXCEPTIONS
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(no subject) [Aug. 22nd, 2009|03:52 am]
only_hindsight
i secretly like being this loopy.
omg. i can't really get myself to the drunken state but this is still pretty funny.
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long time, no vent. [Aug. 19th, 2009|03:47 pm]
only_hindsight
I last updated 8 weeks ago.....

I'm not implying anything. i'm just ranting like a baby so excuse me...i really don't do this often.

I recently played a show outdoors in front of City Hall.
That is monumental in this city just because nothing like that ever goes on.
The Reason? no one shows up and no one gives a fuck, thats the real reason.

The truth of the matter is we're all busy with what we have to do that we really do not have the time to give a fuck about anything else otherwise we can't focus on what we have to do for ourselves. Me, myself, not you, me.

Welcome to Carteret.

Heres to another 8 weeks of just ME and MY music because when it comes to music, i give a fuck.
=)
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(no subject) [Jun. 20th, 2009|04:13 am]
only_hindsight
i'd rather not ask why, instead i'll continue determined and inspired to take less for granted.

I sit back and ponder the past few days and realize how busy i've gotten myself. I'm putting a lot more effort into Passport Studios and i've had a good handful of clients through here just this week, but it all made me realize how i'm making myself busy and not letting myself out to stay connected with my friends.

With everything else we deal with in life, there are things we push aside. Isn't it crazy how we seem to blindly stack things up and push away things without much bother at times?

I think about it. I think about it a lot. I think about the people who have come and go, the ones who i've known, the ones who have touched me, inspired me, and those who expressed gratitude and warmth to share with mine.

I remember those who gave as much as they could for me, and even those who just gave, period because it was in them to give.

Then, i remember those who made an effort. The people who meticulously put together power and energy with means to combine them with deep thoughts. I remember those who took great lengths and great care to step back, and forcefully forget.
I pray for them. They don't realize what they are doing, or did. Its difficult for me to leave people behind like that even if situations get hard or personal.

Do you believe in spirits? I do. As silly as it sounds, i really do. I believe spirits that embody people consist of their basic personality characteristics, their deepest intellects and emotions.
I truly can't hold grudges for long because i truly believe if something crazy were to happen (knock on wood) and i had to continue in my spirit form, if say i had all these things bottled up inside, skeletons in my closet and things left unsaid and avoided, i actually believe they would drag my spirit down and not allow me to float up to heaven.
I mean, they say ghosts have unfinished business and thats why some believe they're still on earth, right?
I believe ghosts are weighed down by something. It could be anything, who knows.

Its ridiculous to hear news of someone's passing. I never was good at handling things like this and at least i'm honest about it.
I know it puts me in perspective. Although it saddens me, it also inspires me. When i think i loose someone, i realize that i slowly gain memories i wouldn't think i'd remember. In essence i'll never loose them.
Along with that, i know i have guardian angels watching over me.
I believe that too.



Nate - The one time in elementary school when you crawled out the bus window when the driver stopped. Crazy man, crazy.
Tito Ariel - The day during choir rehearsal you sat and shared with me the old days when you and your friends would sit around and play guitar back home in the Philippines
Tito Danny - i remember getitn a splinter on your wooden porch and you got a needle and tweezers and got it out of my foot for me.
Tita Kathy - i remember the first day you drove us to bowling. If it wasn't for you we would have never met all these great filipinos in Carteret as quickly as we did.
Fred - I was playing guitar out on my steps and you made your way over just to listen to me. You then invited me in and let me borrow guitar training DVDs. My god, i still have them.
Lola Maria - I remember your warmth and your presence, and it made me realize why my dad is the man he is, because he was loved my a mother like you
Lola Lapas - You loved to carry me and sing to me. I remember the song even though it's all in a filipino dialect. I believe the last time i saw you i was bout to get into kindergarten. I know you're watching me though. Even though you only held me briefly, i'd say i miss you the most Lola.



to the souls aforementioned and the others i knew who watch over us all, thank you, we love you, and rest in peace.
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topsy turvy [Jun. 12th, 2009|01:37 am]
only_hindsight
I went ahead and reset my whole room because i want to make my room more work-efficient.
Before, one would walk into my room and see a bed-room. Well, it was what it was and what the eye saw were two beds parallel to each other, a huge dresser and barely any room to walk. Winter clothes laid strewn about and the floor was hard to see.
Today i took my bed frame apart and raised my mattress supports up about five inches, lowered Marites's about five inches then i went ahead and threw my bed frame on top of hers, screwed it in and made a bank bed.

Now that my side of the room was free, i went ahead and cleaned off the floor, tore down many of my old free expression flyers and some posters, and vacuumed the floor.

Once my side was clean i ran to Walmart to purchase two storage bins and a new bookshelf do-it-yourself assembly kit.

I threw much of the junk in the storage bins, i set up the bookshelf and ended up moving the computer table in the family room all the way over here where it is now in my side of the room.

I now have a dual screen monitor system set up. I bought a brand new widescreen monitor from Walmart for under $100 and i went to best buy to purchase a 500GB hard drive. a wired external keyboard and wireless mouse. all this will aide in helping me work efficiently with other artists this summer.

now when i walk into my room, i dont just see a bedroom...... i see it almost like a dorm room. Bunk bed, filing cabinets, work desk, book shelf, but guitars, midi keyboard, picture frames on the walls and just downright better organization.

I'm proud of myself for doing all this work, and now its time to pack up and leave for Wildwood, prolly about 12 or 1 on friday.

i mean TODAY! =D


i can't wait till i get home on Sunday so i can enjoy my new Studio again!
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(no subject) [May. 28th, 2009|08:30 am]
only_hindsight
I miss someone,
and Eh, there's nothing else i can say.
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Americas Got Talent Audition [May. 14th, 2009|12:35 am]
only_hindsight
i'll take a kitty nape and wake up, prepare then leave for NYC around 4 am.

well, this is gunna be fun!
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Be Professional (2: "Glove In Hand") [May. 12th, 2009|02:41 am]
only_hindsight
[Tags|]
[mood |accomplishedaccomplished]

Hello guys, so i'm still moving along with this series and as i mentioned before i was late again for the monday post but atleast i'm posting, period.

"Glove in Hand", today's title suggests making sure one is prepared. With baseball season now in full swing, fans line up at the gates with their tickets and gloves. They bring the gloves because they know where's always an opportunity to catch a ball flying into the stands. Yes, it is possible to catch a ball barehanded, but that fan has a better chance of catching a ball if they come prepared with a glove in hand.


..........................................................................

*NEW*:

*Lucas J. Keller, Uppercut Management
via Email [Challenge]
Management, of Ace Enders
I emailed Lucas as a part of my own personal CHALLENGE i set for myself Sunday. In my email, i told Lucas i was currently in school and aspiring to be a band's tour manager. I asked him what it takes to be a manager and what would be a great way for someone like me to start.
Lucas emailed me back promptly and shared his insight on the industry today. He mentioned how things are slowing down because of the economy, and how things are different now than they were only afew years ago. He noted that now a days singles are selling way more than albums.
Lucas's advice to me was to purchase a book written by a successful entertainment attorney titled: All You Need To Know About The Music Business. Lucas said that is the book i need to read in order to understand what a tour manager does, and how it's done right.
I thanked Lucas for his assistance and for his suggestion of reading material and i promised to email him as i continue moving forward with my goals.
He wished me luck.

*Eric Rushing, The Artery Foundation
via Email [Challenge]
Management, of Attack Attack!, Devil Wears Prada
I was on Attack Attack!'s myspace just surfing when i saw they posted their management info up. I went ahead and emailed their manager Eric to add him in as a part of my CHALLENGE from Sunday. I asked Eric questions regarding my training in audio and how i could make my way up to being a band's dedicated live engineer, to what management looks for as far as credentials, diplomas etc.
Eric emailed me right away and told me that engineers would start usually at venues working Front Of House sound, and bands would not just pick up anyone, especially no one who hasn't been on the road.
He also noted that his management company does not require a diploma to work there, just interesting to know.
Eric went even further as to request i send him my resume when i am out of school. I thanked him for his consideration and told him when i finish school i will most certainly email him back.

*Rob Hitt, Crush Management
via Email [Challenge]
Management, of The Cab
Rob was the first person i emailed to kick off my challenge i set for myself on Sunday. I asked Rob to help me understand what a manager does in today's music industry and how they deal with the artist.
Rob emailed me promptly and flat out asked if i would like an internship. He noted that he HEARD that the receptionist at Crush mentioned they were in need of one. He instructed me to email him my resume and he would forward it to her. Rob went on to share his answers to my questions.
I thanked him for his offer and told him i needed to retrieve my resume from school, and once i had it i would email it to him.

..........................................................................

&UPDATES&:

&Adrianne,
via AIM
Artist: When I Was 12, Student: Drexel start Fall '09
I knew Adrianne from playing a few gigs with her band When I Was 12 in Metuchen. I finally got her phone number into my phone so i can be sure to contact her when she plays shows. People have been asking her band to play smaller more intimate type venues and i want to be sure i tag along to meet there people because there are people that truly care about bare bones music at its purest form, no bullshit and no egos just a great time for the love of music.
Adrianne is also starting the Music Industry program at Drexel University in Philly this fall s i want to make sure i keep in touch with her since i'm looking into going there as well.


..........................................................................

%NOTABLE%
..none..

..........................................................................

I successfully compleated my challenge. Now, a new one.

!CHALLENGE!:

I must go somewhere like a Guitar Center Store and start conversation in a music related atmosphere with people i don't know personally. I need to hold a simple conversation on music with 5 people and i need to have 3 of the 5 people give me their calling card.

I must talk to 5 musicians and have 3 calling cards by Thursday at 11pm.
NOTE: one of the people can work at the place i am scouting, but just ONE. IT's still a networking connection either way.

.....Who knows who i will bump into walking around guitar center. I won't know till i say HELLO!........
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